The garden was quiet. The flowers still – motionless. Stately and magnificent. I sat down on a bench beneath a sheltering tree relaxing into the pace of the place – slowing down the internal chatter of the mind and arriving in this place of beauty. I wanted to stop knowing and start seeing and there was a question or two I was curious about. “What is the quality of my mind;” and “where does ‘Robert’ start or stop and the universe begin?” Lofty questions for a flower patch maybe but I was confident that the flowers – if so willing – could be powerful muses of insight and inspiration.
Colors danced inside my head. Swaths of colors blurred into a spectrum of shades and hues. I focused on the breath and breathing and on listening to sounds arising around me. A thought arose and like a dog seeing a squirrel my mind instantly followed it. It was memory of something my partner had shared about being in the moment – about realizing that “fear is simply a delusion and that true freedom is found when one realizes that none of us have any control over anything.” I watched the mind turn those word thoughts over and over till I was lost in them before I awoke again coming back to self – back to the breath once more. The mind soon quieted down again.
A friend of mine is a Dharma teacher in our local Sangha. We have lunch together and cackle quite a bit. She shares her clay feet and I mine. I respect her wisdom and her experience and when she started telling me about her insights during a meditation retreat she had attended taught by some fellow named Ashin Tejaniya, I perked right up. “What is the quality of the observing mind,” this Monk had asked? “A good question” I thought as I mindlessly stuffed another french fry into my mouth.
So, I asked of self as I sat beneath the tree, camera bag at my side, the gentle aroma of earth and plants and diesel fuel tickling my nose. “What is the quality of my observing mind,” I asked and waited in silence noting the movement of breath in and out. A voice spoke: “this is a stupid question.” it said. “A HA! Judging mind.” I laughed and held myself with gentleness. As my laughter faded spaciousness appeared and it seemed in that moment that just for a second “Robert” had disappeared.
So, when the mind follows the drone of a plane as it disappears out of range, where is Robert? When the call of a bird snatches the mind and flaps away with it – where is Robert? When the mind is filled with fields of color – where is Robert? When “I” am concentrating on a single flower – focusing upon a tiny bit of light – photographing a moment of time spent contemplating in a garden – where am I?
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Awesome!
“What is the quality of the observing mind,” is an excellent question. I shall try asking it in my next meditation.
There are touches of great beauty in this writing!
Such questions invite more. What is it that concentrates on the flower? What is it that names itself Robert.
We could go on like this for awhile! Thank you for the koans today.
What is it that concentrates? I’d have to say Mind….
Have you come across the teachings on the Five Aggregates yet?
and you are most welcome ……
thanks!
Robert, I was just thinking about how the mind can absorb images unconsciously, storing them away and how they may come back to be used in a different form and then I sat down and read your blogs. Very appropriate for me. Thanks for your beautiful photos.
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I don’t know how you found the Lioness, but I am glad you did. Your online presence is like a vacation somewhere wonderful.
Thank You.
The Lioness
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Liking this post very much 🙂 really enjoyed reading it, thank you 🙂