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…..One that won’t make me sick.

I am an addict!  Yes oh Yes I confess.  I am addicted to doom and gloom, my mind seems hard wired to jump straight to the worst case scenario imaginable and after 60 some years of imagining, mine’s pretty good I assure you.  I inherited this way of holding the horror at bay while planning all possible contingencies from my mother who in turn got it, along with anxiety and a penchant for German compulsiveness from her mom.  I learned this way of holding back the tears and fears the raging and the sorrow from my father who brought great tolerance for others with him into this world.

My addiction demands that I inject an at least twice daily fix of the Daily Kos along with headlines from the Huffington Post while I while away time as so many of us seem to be doing these days, with no particular direction in mind.  Today, first thing I woke up and habitually and unthinkingly turned to my iPhone (a device prior to owning I swore I would not also become addicted too).   What I read written by caring, dedicated, ordinary folk with eyes to see like you and like me – is deeply unsettling.

That a select few have known since the 70’s that continuing to burn fossil fuels at then current levels would lead to the very good possibility that this version of humanity would also be part of the 6th and last (recorded) Great Extinction and still continued to carry on with “business as usual….!” WOW!  the few greatly profiting from the labor of the many, the rich exploiting the resources of the earth to line their pockets with gold.   Where, I wonder and what I wonder will all this gold buy when the Bees are dead and nothing else can pollinate our food crops much less make honey….what will we eat – each other?

And as I write a large multi-national corporation called Bayer is suing the European people for lost profits because the people saw that the product is killing us slowly and killing off Bees by the millions.  Food or profit?  Life or death?  For those still watching what Bayer is doing is written into Obama’s TPP deal that is still sitting on some body’s desk just waiting to be signed “into law” and then used to sell us further down the river…. See, I told you my imagination can get ramped up.  My partner is training me to dial it down, it causes her additional suffering, she says, and to be honest it causes me much suffering too.

But here’s what came to me out of the blue as so much of what I’ve learned through life seems to do.  As I was walking to the art fair held in Durango each year when the apples start to fall, I happened upon a certain light and it went something like this:

Doom and gloom surrounded me as I parked near the school and headed towards the art festival and the big fish event where I was volunteering by helping young kids and adult kids participate in sending healing love down the Animas river and today was an absolutely gorgeous early Autumn day.  Turning the corner by the old Library the light also turned and no sooner did it  that a flash in the shape of an arrow zoomed out between two complimentary shaped forms (a/k/a buildings) and the whole scene was held together by this tree half summer flavored and half Halloween (it’s not easy being green) and my thinking mind stopped.  In mid thought.  And through the gap my heart spoke and I reached for my iPhone to compose an image and the image that came to mind in a flash is that Karen and I live in tragic and precious times and maybe each elder generation feels this way maybe its part of the challenges / adventures built into the unique human experience that sent the Buddha on the path to liberation showing up in ways we can’t deny as we walk these last years of life and maybe its just the thing we need individually and collectively to wake up?

….and then it occurred to me as I walked on down the street that the only thing I have any control of is how I will respond?

Now as much as ever is it not vitally important to practice treating each and our shared planet with kindness – with an approach of selflessness and care? Perhaps these simple acts will not stave off what we have so willfully and knowingly brought upon ourselves – as we merely exchanged a golden calf for a gold American Express card and bless him as even  Jesus was spared this ignominy with the innocence of knowing that then and there the powers that be truly did not know what they were doing.  WE did.  We Do.  Lucky for us the humans that follow us won’t remember what we did or who we were – it will be like starting all over.

So here and now is all we got.  Here and now is what we’ve always only got and as I stare into the gloom and doom of a very bleak existence looming ahead and in the not so distant years a coming; it all just seems to make even more sense and feel more right with my heart, that the simplest things can be the most powerful things, and here and now the simplest thing anyone of us can naturally do is be kind to one another.- here and now – practice kindness – here and now be a difference – here and now drop the ego – here and now breathe the air God gave us – here and now embrace ourselves each other and our planet.

What is more important than that?