Just got off the phone with work wanting to know if “needed could I work tomorrow?”  I said “yes,”  “You the main man, Robert,” came the reply. A little wince ran up my left side as the words slid down my tongue.  ‘Main man.’  “Hey, a part of me shouted out – “let’s go easy on that man stuff.”  Obviously whoever it was that winced from that use of words felt strongly about the matter.  After offering space for this indignant voice to say more, I  began to wonder if we had just experienced a micro-aggression.  Inadvertent without a doubt.   Still it is a movement of new awareness and of allowing pain I did not know I held to rise up and speak out and to crack me open a little bit more to the violence and aggressions others and mothers, people of color and women of all colors including “paradise peach”  endure as part of all of us walking our souls back home.

I know the people where I work quite well. They are no more racist than I am which means we are pretty much all white and privileged and steeped in the ethos of existential humanistic thought, as I am.   We are members of the good people tribe.  We do good work.  We have good hearts.  We got each others backs.

My job is to serve as a Ferry-person, as one who assists others through a transition from one manner of life into another.  It is sacred work regardless if one is helping a person move from life to death or helping a person navigate the waters of  third grade or high  school.  Us “Ferryers” operate behind the scenes.  In a movie the ferry person would be a B list actor whose role, nonetheless is critical to the progression and telling of the story and  of the making of meaning of life through our stories of living, and because of this universaliality, that role becomes imbued with Storehouse and Collective con and unconscious energies

It is a mystery.  For me, for now it’s an archetype.  Next year I could have a different understanding……

I learned about archetypes from my good buddy, Jerry K., whose favorite line of his was “cow one is not cow two,”  reminding me that just because things may be similar it doesn’t mean they are the same.  Jerry was visited by Archetypal energies on several occasions, all of them extraordinary, all of them life shifting.  Jerry and  I would often stay up late into the early morning discussing god, and Jesus, and Jung and archetypes till my eyeballs were falling from their sockets.  Later, I would share the highlights of his stories with my mother in law and she became convinced Jerry was truly a man of god.  And he was – just the image of God his life came to reflect was much more open and tolerant than the TV God and theology of too much of modern Christianity.

“Cow one is not cow two.”

The energies I call archetypal are those I experience upon completing a transition from the world of Manhattan to life under the stars,  to sleeping on the ground instead of under egyptian cotton, and to a place where there is the space to learn what each needs to learn, to encounter what they need to encounter, and to change in the ways their dharma of life has to teach them.  These energies are not those of the dark shadow but rather of the golden shadow that we also  notoriously hide from others and from ourselves as if that which is most noble is us can never be known. Words that can as easily be said of many of us and all of us from time to time.  These golden energies are as one put it “the reason we are here – to give – to love.”

As if there is but one law: love self, love others and as Van the man say’s god’s light will shine on thee”         https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuzVwiL1i5M

Doing multiple transport trips doesn’t seem to diminish the opportunities for me to contact and engage with the archetypal energies of the Ferryman but it does show up in a kind of weariness of my body and bones that I had not known of before, and it shows up in a more active intention to treat myself – these bones and these muscles with more gentleness, with more self compassion and gratitude.  An angel of mercy has landed on my shoulder.