Today was a long awaited meeting of our dharma centered men’s RAG (Racial affinity group) which means we are all white guys. We began the meeting with a silent sit using one of members cell phone timers. We sat and we sat and then heard a “tap tap” and looked up to see V grinning sheepishly and confessing he forgot to start the timer. His vulnerability set the tone.
There had arisen some friction among us original members and mis-communication in our barely off the ground group around inviting new members, and one in particular whom I’ve known for several years and never known him to be less than disdainful of racism and white privilege issues. I feared I would appear as an overly sensitive wimp in voicing my concerns of safety and balancing that with something a good white guy would do for another … I did the only thing that came to mind to do -calling them in rather than pushing them away.
I was grateful for the extra sit time and I watched my mind jump restlessly from thought to thought. Thoughts of wondering if I really needed to know what’s changed? Thoughts of calling in, thoughts of what was the path, Then it was clear. My path is the way of the heart and of the flower which is an archetype of the beauty of our human spirits and noble human hearts.
Speaking my truth is honoring myself – speaking my truth when it is necessary to speak it is loving and caring for myself. We came up with quite the perfect white male privileged thing we could do – we kicked the can down the road and deferred to a woman.
Ending the meeting with another better timed sit my mind was clear and restful. There was no jumping around and my heart was clear and at peace and I drove home jup the snow covered country roads gliding in silence on the ice. In no hurry in no rush. Moving through life this day with ease and joyfulness